lately i have received countless postcards, flyers, letters, and pamphlets (to name a few) about wedding shit. yep, shit. i think i've been punk'd. and the really sad part about all of it (well there's lots of sad parts, actually) is that this stuff is really bad. take for instance the letter i received today from some cake company in the valley (and don't get me wrong, i AM all about supporting local businesses) that is a complete throw-back to the 80s. the letter went something like this:
Dear (insert my name here):
Congratulations! We are so happy that you are getting ready to get married, and am sure your are just as happy about planning your wedding.
stop right there. they've got the wrong bride.
anyway, the letter continues and goes on and on about the wonderful cakes they have to offer for the special day (gag). so, i read on. why? i haven't a clue; it's exciting getting mail. i should have known not to open it by the looks of the really bad company graphic on the envelope (which, by the way, did not suggest it was a cake company); hey what can i say, i am opinionated about art. the letter closes with someone's signature and a contact number. and wait there's more. a second page. i would think it would show examples of wedding cakes. but no! it's examples of really really bad holiday cakes! a lopsided and grotesquely colored pumpkin, a cornucopia filled with real fruit, i think, a ghost cake, a banquet table with croquembouche, and additional info about holiday party cookie trays! clearly the guilty party who wedding punk'd me has not read my blog! other than the part about me supporting local business. i like art and food! and artful food. not the mundane. and i know this cakerie is trying to make it, but whoever they hired for advertisin needs to be fired...or at least given a stern talking to about demographics.
other sad points about the bombardment of wedding galore...too much paper! what a waste of money. they're wasting it on me, anyway, as i won't be supporting the company who offered to let me rent a vera wang gown for $250 or the company who wants me to hold a reception in some lobby that was photographed using really bad lighting and looked as though a spaceship was about to depart in the background. i guess i have found the niche for those who want to know where not to spend their money or their time.
but there is hope in all of this. what, might you ask? well this paper trail will not be wasted, rather reborn as art. i am embarking on some new artwork stemming from these gloriously tasteless mailings, perhaps the world's ugliest rendition of a wedding cake (see photo above).
at which point i will track down my punker and thank him/her/them...
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