i am a control freak; i realize this. funny thing is, those around me might not (at least the ones who don’t know me well). i have a hard time letting someone else take the lead (unless i want them to—more control). it comes down to what I want to do, and when and how I want to do it—going places, buying things, processing opinions and ideas…it’s all just my impulsiveness really. is it better to be impulsive or controlling? are those two things interchangeable? perhaps it is perfectionism. another characteristic of mine. funny, too, this only relates to certain parts of my life—food, pedicures, dirt (or the lack of), aesthetics. even funnier still is my ability to relinquish control and perfectionism when it comes to my artwork—possibly stemming from my impulsiveness. leading me to believe that control and impulse are not interchangeable. my impulsiveness comes from the initial excitement and the imperfections come from the boredom that soon follows. if only I could (and perhaps others out there might agree, particularly those with similar characteristics) get paid handsomely for blogging—the perfect (no pun intended) forum for initial excitement/impulse, enabling both complete control and the ability to quickly move on the next idea once boredom sets in, thus starting the impulsive cycle all over again. all the while meticulously perfecting my words and ideas (and getting frustrated that though they make sense to me, it could be better written—or not…it’s my blog dammit). i’m in control here. now if i could only figure out how to change my fonts/font colors/font effects...it would be perfect.
photo credit:
Sarah Hobbs, Untitled (Perfectionist)
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